In the spotlight this week is Elizabeth Siders and her family including 3 adult housemates and her 16 children. They were found living in filthy, feral-like conditions in Ohio. Elizabeth and her husband married in 2008 when she was 15yo and approximately 7 months pregnant. Since then she went on to have at least one child every year, occasionally twins. Also residing in the house were her mother and father-in-law.
There are so many alarming details about this case and it has certainly drawn the attention of many. Some people are defending Elizabeth saying she is a victim herself, some are are claiming they’re all guilty, some believe they are all incompetent and society as a whole failed the children. As the details start to unfold over the next few weeks and we get answers about what actually happened let’s reflect on what could have been done differently.
First let’s assume Elizabeth was more so a victim than most people want to admit. From past articles and news coverage, it seems as if Elizabeth had very humble beginnings as a child and didn’t have the support she needed. During all the of the chaos that has played out recently her biological family has tried to remain in the shadows or possibly nonexistent out of shame or sheer neglect. Imagine being raised in a bad situation, trying to escape through marriage to a better outcome to end up where Elizabeth is now.
People say “she could have left”, “she knew better, they all knew better”, “she could have asked for help”….but is any of that feasible being pregnant with multiple kids already? Abuse is controlling and manipulative. As a mother, I would never leave my children in a situation like this. I would suffer the same as them to protect them as much as possible. It’s easy to be brainwashed when you have no help, no options and no plan. Elizabeth had no job, no car, no money, no education and from the looks of it; no family. It looks a lot like she was trying to survive and give her kids a roof over their head.
It’s easy to judge the moral compass of someone like Elizabeth. It’s easy to say she could have done better but who knows if she tried to and no one would help her. Would you have helped her if she approached you on the street, or in a store, or knocked on your door? Most people would assume the worst and ignore the encounter entirely if possible.
Perhaps all of the adults involved are not mentally sound. If that’s the case, the blame for all of this sorta falls on society(us). It’s been shared that Elizabeth had all of her children in a hospital, they shopped regularly at stores and at least one member of the house had a job. Between all of these encounters these people faced, how did no one raise questions or concerns? It’s obvious this has been an ongoing problem for a while based on the appearances of the adults and the house itself. Someone had to see something and turned a blind eye to it.
I cannot speak on anyone else’s intentions or what happened in the Sider house, but I know that Jesus would have wanted me to help these people, help the children, help Elizabeth find a way out, help the other adults if their health played a role in this situation. It is easy to judge people for their character flaws when they’re in the spotlight, but God sees your heart in the darkness.
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