God’s Wounded Warriors

Five years ago I would not have guessed I would be where I am today. Not because I’m rich and famous but because it’s outside of my comfort zone. As I reflect on the changes I’ve endured over the last handful of years I have a bit of whiplash. Nothing is the same now. I don’t live in the same house, the same city, drive the same car, my kids are older, my body is different, my church is different, my relationships are different, I’m different.

I didn’t wake up one day and decide to do a massive reset of my life. It was the small things, one day at a time, sowing and reaping, trial and error, tears and triumph. I was slowly being pushed out of my comfort zone into a new life I never truly expected. I didn’t have a 5 year plan to be where I am now. I barely had enough strength to get through a single day, let alone plan a whole life change.

If God had told me the things I would have to do, I probably wouldn’t have went through with any of them. I probably would have isolated and fell into my comfortable way of familiarity and God knew that. Sometimes God leans in with all His majesty and says “let go and let’s go”. During all the trying, stressful days I never seen them as letting go of my old life, I was just trying to survive. The demands of my new life made me uncomfortable at times, but now that I am on the other side of things, I realize this is where God needed me to be.

I am not the same person I was five years ago and I am thankful for the journey. There were many days I thought Satan was attacking me and He probably was to catch me off guard. The trials and temptations I went through have no comparison to the trials and temptations Jesus endured so who am I to complain.

Today, I see the last bits of my old life fading more into the distance and more of the new coming to light. I am grieving parts of my old life but I can’t unsee, unfeel, or forget what God done for me in my transitional era. At times, I was trying to hold onto pieces of my life I wasn’t meant to. There’s a somber silence floating around me now like after a war has been won. I can still see the smoke from the destruction but I’m free now.